Victoria C Zickas - “Best Buddy”

He walked out of his house in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. His face was blank. His eyelids were lowered, eyes red and irritated from his lack of sleep and the bags under his eyes were extra prominent. His mouth was brought down into a frown as he took a long look at the dog in his arms. The german shepherd was covered in long, gray hairs and their eyes were barely crusted open. The man shook his head and took a deep breath. The door to his dusty, red suv was already opened. He gently placed his fragile dog on the backseat. He wrapped the gentle being with his childhood blanket. The blanket was a dark blue and it was covered in various amounts of trucks and construction vehicles. It had a dark blue and red fringe surrounding it. He took one last look at his aging friend and closed the door. He slumped into the driver's seat and closed the door. He took a deep breath and he lightly pressed his foot on the gas pedal and they were out of the driveway. 

He couldn’t stop looking back. Every second of that drive he was maneuvering his eyes to the mirror or he would turn his head to check up on his pal. The german shepherd always looked back at him, eyebrows raised up and heavy eyes. The man kept looking back. As he was driving, he couldn’t stop thinking. He made sure to take every turn slowly or to hit his brakes earlier. They were about halfway there when the man took a very sharp turn into a gas station. The car’s tank was full. He rushed out of the car and ran to the back door. He jiggled and pulled on the handle to open it. He stood in silence and just stared. The dog slowly lifted its head to look at his life, his owner. The dog’s tongue slowly leaked out of its mouth and panted heavily. He kept staring at his pride and joy. The man smiled lightly as tears started building up. The man opened the passenger side door, lifted the dog up and brought it to the passenger seat. He gently placed it back down and closed the door. He walked sluggishly to the drivers side yet again and sat down, closing the door. He wiped his eyes with his fingers and sniffled a bit, looking towards the passenger seat. He moved his hand slowly towards the dog and petted it. The dog’s tail wagged lightly and it thumped against the car door. The man smiled briefly and wiped his nose with his fist. He pressed the gas pedal lightly and left the gas station.

The car was seconds away from hell. The man’s heartbeat was growing louder and louder the closer he got to the vet. He went there too often. He saw the small lake that he knew was across the building. He looked over at his pal again and looked back to the road immediately. He shook his head as his vision became blurred by tears. His mouth trembled and that warm feeling he knew all too well began to form. He saw the lake again in his peripheral vision and clicked on his turn signal. He turned into the empty parking lot and slowed down, searching for a parking spot. He kept going around and around the parking lot, looking for the perfect spot. There were only a few cars and they were parked farther away from the building. The man looked down at the dog and saw that its eyes could barely stay open. He bit his bottom lip and stared at his dog. He settled on a parking spot that was the farthest from the building. He parked, turned his keys and turned off his car. He turned the radio down and slumped back in his seat. His head turned up and he stared at the roof. He closed his eyes and sighed, putting his hands over his face. 

“I’m so sorry.”

That was all he could blurt out. His face soon became stained with tears. He kept wiping his tears but they kept coming. His face became red with irritation from all of the wiping and his eyes were puffy. His slightly red eyes looked to the side to see his dog, his friend, just laying there. He looked back up to the ceiling.

“I promise that I will never replace you, okay?”

He turned his head and looked down, patting his dog’s head. He lightly grabbed his dog’s paw and shook it. He rubbed his fingers along the dog’s paw. 

“I promise.”

He mustered up all the strength he could and opened the car door. He stepped out and stretched. Then, he made his way over to the other side of the car. His head was swollen with memories of his furry friend. The time it got so excited that when he placed the food bowl down for the dog, it stepped on the rim of the bowl and the food went flying; and the time when he placed his son on top of the dog while it was laying down and they took a nap together. The man opened the passenger side door and stopped. He looked at the dog’s eyes. The dog’s eyes were barely open and slightly glazed over. He got on his knees and leaned over his dog. He gently placed his head on his dog’s body and let a few tears slip out. He sat there for a bit, reminiscing. He thought of the time when they went on vacation and left the dog home alone and when they came back, the pantry door was open and there were boxes of snacks all ripped up and eaten. At his daughter’s birthday party, the dog followed her everywhere she went and sat next to her while she ate her cake… Then proceeded to eat the rest of the cake so no one else could even have a slice.

“I love you so much, buddy. You know that?”

He looked into his best friend’s eyes once again and stood up. He dusted his knees with his hands and lifted up his dog slowly. He turned around and used his foot to close the door. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and walked towards his worst nightmare, with a single tear trailing down his face.