Make It Stop - Guadalupe Cataldo

Beeeeeeeeeeeeep...

The room is cold and bright. It’s bare, devoid of personality, devoid of life. And suddenly it clicks. I turn to my left and walk out. People mill about. Doctors by a

desk. Nurses in and out of rooms. I can see their mouths opening and closing, their hands adding emphasis. I cannot hear a thing they say. I walk and walk and

walk. There’s more people going on with their lives, doing their jobs, nursing loved ones back.

I think this is jealousy. I think this is envy. My feet pick up and the hall disappears quicker. The door flies open and I duck inside before someone can find me. I

lean against the wall and sink to the floor. I’m alone. It’s quiet. I force my eyes closed. The tears begin to flow. It gets hard to breathe. The walls are closing in. I

reach forward and nothing. To my left, nothing. To my right, it's cold, slightly round. I pull and a door opens. It smacks my leg.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeep...

My eyes fly open. The room is hot and dark. There’s remnants of a family, my family. My mom’s half eaten cannoli. My dad’s empty espresso cup. My brother’s

jacket slung across the back of the chair. My older cousin’s bag open on the couch. My aunt’s phone vibrating on the table. My younger cousin’s footsteps coming

down the hall.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeep...

The door swings open. I’m on my feet, turned away. I wipe my tears, plaster on a soft smile. My cousin’s voices fill the room. I open the microwave. The sound

continues. As I eat the leftovers, the sound plays in my head but nobody seems to notice. They haven’t heard that sound in years. I heard it first as a 12 year old

and it's been on a never ending loop for the past 3 years.