Un i Con Tilde - Tammy Diaz

Such a small symbol: una tilde.

I understand it though.

Just a small identifier that you are different.

Something overlooked by me, my whole life.

Just like I overlooked myself my whole life.

Ni de aquí, ni de allá.

Ni. De. ALLÁ.

Japanese-Peruvian, chilena, americana.

What does that even mean?

It means....

I’m weird.

Weird, in the way that people look at me and can’t tell what I am. 

Why are there so many expectations of what people think Latinidad is?

My blend has made me a chameleon,

a code switcher and huntress of other strange and unusual people. It means

I am Latinx.

I am a BIPOC, Queer, Spanglish, Nerd.

And for once in my life, I am owning it: Completamente. Sinvergüenza.

No me importa que diga la gente.

I have survived on eldest daughter energy fuel,

people pleasing and empathy.

But being back in college,

Feeding my passions and diving into my culture,

I have realigned what fuels me.

My new fuel is writing,

meeting other weirdos like me

And making people laugh.

Wanna hear something funny?

It took learning Spanish grammar and linguistics from white professors, 

to learn how to correctly write my last name.

My dad never realized the implications of racism,

when they changed it on him at immigration.

It's the kind of funny that is *Crying in Spanish* funny.

Smile and bear it, because you don’t want to look like an angry Latina, type of shit. 

It is my acquired generational trauma that

I am unlearning and learning every day.

So, NOW...I celebrate that tilde.

I am breaking cycles and using my identity as a badge of honor.

My recommendation for life:

Stop thinking of what could be and just do!

Live.

Use Latinx, like a verb and do it in whatever way you want.

Un i sin tilde, is just an i,

and I am more than that.