to be loved - Sarai Knox

i so intently observe those i care for and those i desire,

watching and listening closely for fear of ever missing something.

the teensiest detail, the smallest tidbit of information,

i want to know your soul.

i want to know everything,

so i may give you my all & more.

so i observe,

i watch and i listen.

for fear of getting caught slacking,

for fear of slipping up.

my memory can get so shaky at times, and i get scared that if i blink,

i’ll miss my chance to see you.

to memorize every detail of you,

to soak you in.

so i observe,

i watch and i listen.

for fear of ever making you feel

how i feel.

waiting as patiently as i know how,

desperately clinging to my faith in the universe.

waiting for someone to see me,

waiting for someone to hear me.

to know my soul,

& give me their all.

my biggest breakthrough came

when i realized

i’ve been looking for myself

in everyone else.