Brother - Juliette Humphreys

The first time you hit me in front of your friends they laughed

And you laughed with them

Next time you did it a little harder

and i knew then what it felt like to be a punchline of a joke

Now you drink black coffee as bitter as you

It’s so stupid but not as stupid as me leaving the light on for you

My nose pushed up and heavy breathing on the cold windows

I was scared you would come back

It would be late

And the house would be dark and you wouldn’t be able to find me when i finally hit back

But i always left a light on

What happened to the brother that carried me on his back

Trudging through the warfare of our home

I think you never even liked me

You were with me before I was born

And I wish you goodness but I know I can't be around to see it.

your shaking fists and loud voice were never a sign of your cruelty

But it does not mean you were kind.

I always feel sad for the boys that you were

And I’m sad you will never know the child I am.