Disparity in Memoriam of You, Jelisa Gonzalez

Seated on grayed sediment

I remember how things used to be,

And how I remember our laughs 

Like how I flip to look at the back of my hands 

As superfluous as that sounds,

The one thought that I allow of you resounds 

Like the beat of a song that I don’t get tired of 

In my dreams, I screech in agony 

Of the desire to be in that place,

Even if just for a little while

I didn’t mean for things to end how they did 

I didn’t mean to cut your hair while you were asleep

I didn’t mean to walk in the dark,

To find the one thing I didn’t want procuring me 

As this happened, 

I remembered the sound of your voice 

Your hands outstretched to assist mine 

Your words meant to calm my mind 

The procurer took that away from me,

All the good that I saw in you,

That was in you

Snuffing your songs melody as a virus to their vocal chords 

Rocking the boat,

Forcing me overboard 

And as I wept 

You didn’t perceive 

How much that moment spiritually impaired me

To see you, a trailblazing light,

Come crashing down

Into the rubble.